2015-2016: A reflection of the past, present and future 3/3


So we have finally come to the end of my reflection. Sorry it took so long. I wanted to post it up before the new year. So today is officially the last day of 2017 and also happens to be my birthday! Hope you guys had an amazing 2017 year!

Thank God for new days and new years. It’s such a beautiful gift to be given a chance to start fresh with each new day. We get so caught up in our problems that we often take it for granted. For me in 2015, for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t wait for the new year. I was ready to say goodbye to the past! I saw 2016 as a start of a new chapter in my life. Titled something along the lines of “Strong Woman” as described in Maya Angelou’s poem. It was my goal to become that woman. It was a year of soul searching and self discovery. A new year gave me a sense of hope. To learn from the past, change my mindset, spiritual growth and learn about myself. I just wanted to enjoy life and to do things that made me happy. There were three key factors that allowed me to overcome pain and hardship. Quiet time with God, Using time to reflect on life and plan where I wanted to be career wise and spiritual growth and lastly accepting that life doesn’t always go my way and that it’s my attitude that counts.

As I’ve mentioned in my previous post, one thing I valued greatly during this period were the quiet times I had. These were the most precious moments for me because I learnt so much about myself. Things that I had forgotten – my standards, my beliefs, my morals and values, my self worth. It was during these quiet times I realised how much I had changed over the last couple of years which explains why I was so unhappy. So I would go to the beach or a place with a beautiful view or sometimes to a park and just enjoy the view. I would write. Read. Admire God’s stunning creation particularly when I witness a sunrise or sunset. Listen to music. Pray. The more I spoke to God the lighter the burden felt. It was therapeutic and it gave me so much peace. Funny how the most simple things in life can bring so much value and happiness to ones soul.

During these quiet times, I began to feel God’s love and protection over me. It’s hard to describe the comfort and reassurance that I got after spending time talking to Him about all sorts of things. It was peace. It was love. But at the same time it felt like so much more. Like I said, there are no words to really describe the feeling. But peace and love come close. I felt complete. This particular experience has drawn me so close to God!! It made me realise I had been filling a void in my heart with someone else’s love. So, when they took their exit, I felt so much pain. But I realised God created this void for him. It had always been His place. No matter how hard we look to fill this emptiness nothing really suffice until we decide to let God fill it. He really does complete us. The difference between God and people is that God’s love is constant. It does not change according to our actions. It is loyal. It does not disappoint. It does not judge. People however, change. They sometimes hurt us. I’m not saying we will never feel hurt or disappointment once we place God 1st in our lives. We will. However, we will also experience his peace and love in a way we never felt before. A feeling that no words can quite describe accurately. With that He also blesses us with time!

Time heals. It allowed me to understand why things happen the way they do and how to have the right attitude to deal with it. There was no bitterness. No plot to seek revenge or judgement. Just accepting the fact that life doesn’t always go my way. But things happen for a reason and eventually I will look back and understand why it had to happen. By allowing myself to enjoy my own company, reflecting on life and spending time with God opened my eyes to things that I’ve forgotten about such as my dreams and aspirations in life. I started to jot down goals and things that I’ve always wanted to achieve. It gave me a great deal of boldness and confidence to know exactly what I wanted to do and how I was going to achieve it. I felt so empowered to be in control of where I wanted to go in life. I could’ve held resentment and spend all my time being bitter and sulking over what had taken place the previous year but I knew that, first, it wasn’t going to please God, and second, it will just make me more unhappy and miserable. So having the right attitude is key to YOUR own happiness. You can’t control what people do but you sure can control what you do or how you react. For the first time in a long time, I did things for me. I connected with people I hadn’t seen or known before and it felt so good to be around like minded people. Positive vibes are the best. I believe the crowd you surround yourself with determines where you will go. I’ve always believed in the saying “you are who your friends are”. You want to be successful, surround yourself with people who want to be successful. You want to be around positive energy surround yourself with positive people. Like minded people.

I also learnt that through every darkness there will eventually be light. That through every trial there will be a reward. That through every battle there will be victory and that through every struggle there will always be hope. There is hope because there is a God that LOVES. I ended 2015 with many goodbyes and entered 2016 trusting and believing in the plan that God had for me. “As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts, says the Lord.” I am in a place where I am more aware of who I am. God blessed me with 2016 to really focus on myself and dig deep into the person that God created me to be. I am grateful that I went through what I went through because it has definitely changed me as a person, it has changed my perspective on others and on life in general. I have seen God move in my life in ways I had never experienced before. I can confidently say He is the source of my existence. I had forgotten this along the way….

Life is filled with seasons. But each season will eventually end and another starts. We will face many failures, disappointments and heartaches but they all serve some type of purpose – to allow us to see God’s goodness and appreciate it much more than we had previously. They don’t last a lifetime. We will experience good times as well on our journey. We will look back and realise why certain things had to happen in order for good things to take place later. Remember God will never test us beyond what we are capable of handling. We are never alone. He is always there. He loves us regardless of our gender, race, background, past mistakes etc. Our experiences should only make us stronger and more grateful. Allow the process and look forward to what God has planned for you. He knows what’s best for us. Trust in Him! For His love never fails and His promises are never broken!!

I hope my experience have helped you in some way. It wasn’t easy having to put it out there but I wanted to encourage and remind anyone going through a similar situation that you will get through it. If I was able to get through it you can too. Remember God is there. He will help you overcome this difficult time. Talk to Him. Seek Him. You will feel His love cover you just like He did with me. And remember great things happen after you have endured hardship. The most successful people in this world had to first endure numerous failures and hardships before they tasted success. That’s what makes us appreciate life and the small things so much more. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. Be patient and trust God to bless you with His best! His timing is always perfect.

God bless. Lota xx

Categories: Life & God

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